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WHY Are WOMEN so COMPLICATED?!

by Briana Breezy McIntosh on Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 3:04am

Last weekend, I sat in my love's kitchen as we engaged in one of our usual intimate conversations. My small case of allergies usually irritates me during evening hours, so I was coughing and scratching my throat mid-sentence. As we talked, he got up and started fixing himself something to drink. Although I had a slight feeling that he was no longer listening attentively, I continued to talk. He took his drink out of the microwave, stirred it up, and handed the mug to me.

I asked, "What is this?" I looked at the mug with a perplexed expression. He smiled and responded. "It's just some warm tea for your throat, love."

My boyfriend cannot read my mind (although he thinks that he can), and he is not psychic by any means. He simply noticed that I had an itchy throat and decided to do something about it. All he did was pay attention.

Now, I'll be one of the first to admit that us women ARE indeed complex creatures. We have more needs and desires. We are more high maintenance, and sometimes it takes special provisions to accommodate us. However, ALL WOMEN CAN BE PLEASED AND FULFILLED! It is just a matter of whether or not a man is willing to PAY ATTENTION to us.

First and foremost, all women are NOT the same. We do not want or need the same things that the last woman did. This is why it is important to get to know us FIRST before attempting to engage in any intimate activity with us...the last woman may have liked it rough while the new woman would rather you give it to her nice and slow...BUT if a man is too consumed in himself to explore HER individual needs, he will not please her. God didn't make a mistake when he designed us for a man to have to know us down to a science....this is why it takes ONE intelligent, patient, and selfless man to be worthy of our minds, hearts and bodies. You'll know when you find that man because he will know you so well that he'll unlock the inner parts of yourself that YOU didn't even know was there.

Secondly, It is IMPOSSIBLE to please a woman physically if you do not know her mind and heart like the back of your hand....and if you ever thought that you fulfilled a woman's needs whose heart you did not possess, you're WRONG! You may have given her temporary pleasure, but you did not FULFILL her...and 9 times out of 10, she faked that orgasm.

*Kanye shrugs*......what? (Read next paragraph at your own discretion)

Gentlemen, it's TRUE!! It may be an ego boost to you that you were able to get a lady in bed whom you do not know, but know THIS: Every lady that you laid down with (who you didn't know) only settled for less! You did NOT fulfill her...She did NOT climax, and furthermore, she regretted laying down with you as SOON as the sex was over. Okay, so she 'came' all over you, right? Well biologically, penetration of the vagina will make her 'cum' automatically. That does not mean that she had an orgasm. If you don't know the difference between the two, then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Try brushing up on your female anatomy and you will understand what I mean by this. *Female ejaculation does not mean that she has had an orgasm, and an orgasm does not mean that she will ejaculate.*

....how's that for a reality check?

I once heard a quote from an anonymous source that said, "Pay attention to the whispers so that you will not have to hear the screams."

It may sound ridiculous to men that most women would rather drop hints than be blunt about what we want to say. We do this for one of two reasons: (1) we don't want to annoy or 'nag' you, so we try to find a more polite and subtle way to express ourselves OR (2) We're testing your attentiveness.

You may be thinking, "Well, why do yall women always feel the need to 'test' us?"

Simple.

When a baby needs its diaper changed, its not going to just open its mouth and say, "Change me." It's going to do everything BUT state the obvious--it'll cry, make funny faces....and even if it drops ZERO hints that it needs its diaper changed, you should already expect it to need a changing if you know that you have not done so in THREE hours!

If you're oblivious to a woman, you'll be even more oblivious to her child....and no woman wants that for her children. We want to know that you will pay them attention to figure out what they want and need. We want to know that we can trust you enough with our seed....and if we can't, what do we need you for? It's just like when your girl drops hints to you all week about her upcoming birthday....and you forget. Can you blame her for being upset when you were too consumed in YOURSELF to realize that it was her birthday? LISTEN TO THE WHISPERS!

Just like any complicated math problem, each and every woman has her own INDIVIDUAL formula for fulfillment and we can ALL be solved successfully...however, we are NOT meant to be figured out by every man. So if you find a woman to be TOO complicated after you have actually tired to figure her out, that should tell you something right there...

....see what I'm sayin, bruhs?

Peace,
Bri

Party? Na, I'm Good On That...

You know, I've noticed that a lot of people don't know how to throw parties. I actually enjoy social atmospheres where a lot of people come together and have a good time....but lately, the party scene has really been disappointing me. For the most part, my low expectations of parties has caused me to decline invitations. Every now and then, I'll try the party out hoping that it's better than the last. 98% of the time, I leave disappointed and telling myself that I'm through wth parties, or perhaps, I'm just out of that "partying" stage of my life.

Most people my age actually enjoy these parties, and are probably calling me lame in the back of their minds because I'd rather be somewhere else...ANYWHERE else than a party! Who wants to be in a HOT full room of sweaty people, music that only the "DJ" likes instead of diverse, mood stimulating music, and men preying on women from behind for a "grind session" instead of an actual dance? There is no food, the hosts are stingy with the drinks, THEN they have the nerve to try to charge? Na, I'm good on that...

I don't throw parties because I'm just not into the whole cleaning up after people and risking having things broken or stolen....but I'm pretty sure that I could throw a good party. It's all about the atmosphere that you create...not how large a party is or how many drunk fights went down. It's not about how many people you invite. It's about what KIND of people you invite.

First of all, EVERYONE and their uncle should not be invited to parties! If you're the host, you should know everyone in the party. There shouldn't be people in your HOUSE drinking your drinks, messing up your things, stealing your stuff and harrassing your guests. No wonder everyone is all clique-ish and nobody is dancing...your college friends don't want to mingle with those thugs that walked in off of the street. You've created an unsafe atmosphere and something bad is bound to happen under these conditions. As the host, you should know ALL of your guests because your guests should only bring people that THEY know. You are the link between everyone in the party because you create the network. The more people who know each other, the better of a time everyone will have, and you're likely to get these same kinds of people at your next party.You may not produce a "thick" crowd, but you'll have a nice, fun crowd.

Secondly, what ever happened to food and games? A few boxes of pizza and a deck of cards would't hurt...and if it does, you just shouldn't be throwing a party if you can't afford to keep your guests comfortable and entertained. Your party will last longer if your guests are happy. Personally, if I'm hungry at a party and I need to leave to get something to eat, I'm probably not coming back. Once people start leaving your party, more and more people find reasons to leave. Before you know it, you're left alone in your living room, music still playing, and a HUGE mess to clean up.

FINALLY, play music that appeals to your crowd. You might not want to play a lot of Gucci and Soulja Boy in a party of mostly women. Mix it up. Don't be afraid to play throwback joint every now and then. There are so many artists to choose from...it's okay to stray away from what's popular.

Sorry to rant. LOL!! This started off as a status...but then I realized that I had a lot more to say about the subject matter...

Ok. I'm done [=

B4U

What on earth did I think about all the time before you?
Because these days, it seems like there's some type of 'love screen' filtering my views
I'm aware that the world was existent before us, but
I must admit that it hasn't been the same at all afterward
My closest advise me to get over you and get a life
Cuz, like...I used to feel fly,
But now I'm delayed, left feeling like I missed my flight
What on earth did I think about all the time before you?
Because hereafter, it seems that you're all that's on my mind
- the bad days, the great nights, battles, fights, but mostly- the good times,
like...hitting downtown Atlanta Monday night, eating half priced Burgers from Atlantic grill
Or candlelit dinners, filling our glasses with Chateau Ste. Michelle
Damn, it really seems like Everything I see sparks a thought that brings you to mind
I struggle to forget, though I know that its a losing Fight,
cuz even every time I hear about something simple- like a friend freezing Gummies
that shoots me to the late nights we spent battling the munchies
and every time I catch a quick glimpse of a Husky,
Immediately, I start to smile at previous conversations about our dream puppy
I...think of the nights that it was just I and you...
...listening to Badu...
...Janelle monae...
...or...even Waka Flocka Flames
Whereas every other girl in the world may think I'm so LAME,
you just laughed at my corniness- I loved how your smile remained the same
And though it seemed that over time, certain things would change
our craziness remained consistent and our connection never tamed
because we loved each other seriously, but could show it so simply
like a Kiss on the forehead, or a Dasani bottle full of Lillies
I still get butterflies like I did the morning of our first Meeting
because you're still- to this day- the best thing I never knew I Needed
I love the fact that you're a woman who can enjoy the Outdoors
yet, still be cool with lounging around the house in your PINK boy shorts
Staying up all night, or going to sleep early
chasing you around the house...tussling...flirting
taking Cozmo quizzes...laughing at your nerdy sayings
Though I made fun of you, I'd never change your Quirky ways
My poem Relapse says everything needed to say
about exactly how I feel every time that you're away
I miss how thick your hair was...or how your legs remained Smooth
You were the loud in my bubbler...haha...the broth in my soup
Speaking of food...I'll never forger the Tapas at Eclipse de Luna,
or the times we took my dog for walks under the Moon, or
how you tiptoed when you tried on a dress when you didn't have on shoes...
The question still remains...What on earth did I think about all the time before...U?
And can my mind be clear of thoughts of us...after you?
Unfortunately for me, I have a feeling that this curse may continue
...leading to thoughts of us making love in all types of various Venues
-from a park bench outside right beside a lake's view
-to the time we left our friends to step outside of the W...whew...
Just because your my eX don't mean the feelings left
that hinder me from moving on to whatever else is next...
I have no idea what i thought about before You took over my mind, baby
and I really don't care- I welcome you to continue tainting my A through Z

~ Lucius McCall

P e a c e B y [ P e a c e ]

If I give you my heart piece by piece, at what point will it shatter?
What piece will it be?
I've always wanted to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally...
Naturally.
But time and time again, I've been told that all men deceive...
Time and time again, I've proven this theory to be Concrete;
It has happened to me.
I just want to believe what I see here in front of me
But I hold back just in case you're not who you seem,
I realize with love there are risks involved.
You seem to be worth it, but what if you're not?
To test this out, I give you another piece of my heart...
I hand it to you slowly without reluctance;
However, I still brace myself for destruction.
I'd like to think that your heart is as pure as mine,
But it's too good to be true--so I start looking for clues.
I wonder what secrets are embedded in you.
What old emotions are you holding on to?
So here, I give another piece of my heart to you.
Not to trick you, but to simply elicit the truth.
By nature
I've always been faithful.
I'd hate to know that you'd cheat.
You say that you wouldn't, but do you practice what you preach?
Words are powerful--
But a word is only a word unless proceeded by a verb...
So I heard.

Because even verbs can be modified by manipulative adjectives.

As you can see, I tend to think too deeply
But in reality, this isn't as deep as it seems.
Because until I know you love me,
There will always be a peace of me
That you will never see.

Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

Way To Go, Kam!!

I went to visit and spend some time with my sister this week. As we talked, I watched my 6-year old niece, Jordyn, play with her 2-year-old friend, Kameron. While playing, Jordyn noticed a small spider creeping across the kitchen floor. Like me, my niece is TERRIFIED of spiders! She pointed at it and screamed,
"Spider!!!!!!"
Jordyn then ran behind the kitchen table.
"'Pider?"
Baby Kam asked in a concerned voice as he located the 8-legged critter. He then stuck out his little chest and smashed the spider with his 3-inch sneaker.
"Way to go, Kam!"
My sister and I cheered as Kam walked behind the table to comfort Jordyn.
"It okay, Jordy. 'Pider dead now,"
Kam said, assuring Jordyn that it was okay to come back out and play. He took her hand, and they resumed their game of tag around the table.

Any average person would think that's cute, right? ...and it is; but I think that it's a lot more than cute. In fact, it shines light on the roles of women and men in a relationship, and how relationships do not work out because one role is distorted in relevance to the other. My question is this: Why can't some men play their roles correctly without making up excuses? Most of the time, women CLEARLY indicate what their needs are, and a good man will try to fulfill those needs by any means necessary. I'm not saying that a man should break his neck to fulfill irrational needs for his lady, but if the man can easily provide it, we shouldn't have to ask. Of course, this goes both ways.

Even as a baby, Kameron instinctively felt like it was his job to rid my niece of her fear of the spider. He recongized that if she was afraid of the bug and he was not, then he could do something to make it better. And without question, that's exactly what he did. He protected her and provided a comfortable area for her to play without fear. Jordyn let Kam comfort her, making him feel proud as she showed him that she was no longer afraid.

So men. Stop acting surprised that your baby's-mama is blowing you up when you haven't paid child support in 6 months. Stop acting surprised that your girlfriend is mad at you because you have time to give her but aren't sparing her a single minute! Ladies, don't be surprised that your man no longer has the ambition to do better when you're constantly calling him a nigga and telling him that he's not shit! Don't expect your man to be secure when he walked into the club to find you bent over on another man! Don't blame your partner for finding you repulsing and doesn't want you touching them because YOU cheated!

In relationships (and by that, I mean SERIOUS relationships), needs vary on different entities whether they be tangible or simply abstract. On all levels, needs must be met...and if they can't, the LEAST you can do is try! If you love your partner, you know them as well. So you know what his or her needs are without them always having to tell you. The excuse, "I can't read minds" is BULL****! Babies can't talk, and you can't read their minds, either. But when they cry, you already know to explore what the baby needs, and you fulfill it without even reading its mind.

So men, be a Baby Kameron and provide for your lady without her having to ask. Ladies, be a Jordyn and show appreciation for everything that he does so that he feels proud of himself.

God bless,

Breezy

It's in the approach

Watch the video first (The whole thing. Trust me...it's worth it):

Let's ignore the color issue, because I'm sure women of other ethnicity experience the same things.
WOMEN...how do men approach you?
How would you like them to approach you?
Is there a difference?
Speaking to a friend of mine recently, she said she was simply walking past the dining hall on her college campus when a male called out to her. She remained walking, and instead of the male moving on with his life, he chose to allow his ego to speak for him, and he called out

"Well fuck you too then, bitch!"

Is this acceptable? Have you experienced the same?
The women in the preview above seemed to be really affected by the attitudes and actions of men when they're walking by to the point where they choose to cross the street when nearing a group of men.
On the flip side, are these women being too sensitive?
Should simple, ignorant words have such an impact on their feelings and actions?
Why can't women just ignore these men?
What if a man starts to follow you when you ignore him? What is he tries to harm you- just because you weren't interested.
Should you entertain the nonsense just to be safe?
This is real life, people. Speak out- ladies and gentlemen. Talk to each other in the comment section and get a feel of what the opposite or same sex feels.
I'd really like a man to comment...a man who's done this type of thing before. Personally, I haven't and I'd like to know where his mind is at.
LADIES, speak out- I want to hear you!!

~ L. McCall