Derrion Albert

For those who may not know, Derrion Albert, 16, a Chicago high school honor student was mercilessly slain last week when caught in the middle of a gang war. The video of the beating is below.

Watching this video moved me and I realized that there is SO much work to do. So many young brothers think that fighting and killing each other is the cool thing to do due to the way they are raised and the company they keep. The music they listen to. It's saddening.
I remember growing up in Brooklyn, New York where it was cool to be in a gang. It was cool to fight. That's how you got girls, that's how you got "rank", that's how you were made popular.
You fought.

Is THIS how we want young black males to be perceived?
I don't even go to urban clubs anymore because I may face the risk of dealing with the problems in the previous video.
Should things be this way? When the police see a group of black people, they immediately tense up, thinking that something stupid is going to pop off. Shouldn't we be coming together to build each other up, rather than fight and KILL each other?
Shouldn't we be sticking together rather than pulling each other apart? After the years of strife where we had no choice but to COME TOGETHER-- where we felt the need to create fraternities so that we can form a closer bond and be strong in numbers, we choose to join gangs and destroy what our forefathers fought so hard to build?
I guess it's all about being cool, right?

"Tell me when...when will violence between us lower in caliber? How many more times will we have to see stories similar to Derrion Albert? Gangster mentality, mixed with the pride of a fool...caused a young brother's death in the front of a SCHOOL...just to be cool, we refuse to ever back down...so we do the crab thing...and remain pulling each other back down...this sh*t is saddening..."

~L. McCall

Cartoon Land is Over!

Do you remember how you used to love cartoons when you were a child? You would sit attentively on the couch with your eyes glued to the television set for hours as if the program was mesmerizing you. When you would finish, you wondered if batman would come and rescue you in real life if you were to ever get in trouble. You also wondered what would happen if you jumped off of a cliff holding an umbrella. As children, it’s fun fantasizing about unrealistic things such as flying superheroes and using umbrellas as aero-floatation devices. When we grow up and learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality, cartoons are no longer entertaining to us. However, we indulge in a new type of fantasy; a fantasy that has been changing the way we socialize, dress, think, and act for as long as I can remember. This fantasy is modern day music.

“Car full of choppers and everybody quiet. Car full of goons and everybody certified.”

These are lyrics from the song Goons Lurkin’ by rapper Plies. For those of you that don’t know, a “goon” in the urban community is considered to be a street drug runner or in lamest terms, a thug. The lyrics above are implying that there is a car full of gangsters who are all carrying guns. They are “lurking”, meaning that they are about to rob someone, perform a drive-by, or carry out any other illegal activity.

Young people tend to embrace the violent and sexually exploitative nature that most rap music entails by dressing, acting, and speaking like their favorite entertainers. Notice that I said entertainers, because that’s what rappers do; they entertain. The purpose of entertainers is to amuse and please their audience. Just like actors, the characters that rappers portray are more than likely not who they really are or want to be. But for the sake of pleasing their audience, entertainers put on their best performance to make the act appear as real as possible. They conduct staged performances that appear real and have fake drama with other celebrities in order to gain more media attention. Most urban youngsters are extremely vulnerable to these performances and are pressured to act out the characters of their favorite hip hop idles. Their vulnerability becomes a problem when they actually start to believe the things they see and hear in entertainment media, just like with the cartoons we used to believe in as children.

When will we grow up and realize that it is all make believe? Not everyone can be a celebrity. Not everyone will be able to drop out of high school because they were discovered by some big time producer in a community talent show. When will men realize that they’ll never find a virtuous lady as long as they have a “thug” mentality and exploits females? When will people realize that they actually can go to jail for distributing drugs and carrying illegal weapons? When will people stop living in cartoon land?

While you all are trying to emulate Plies by disrespecting women and throwing all of your hard earned McDonald's money at the club calling yourselves a “goon”, your idle is sitting on a four-year college degree. That’s right. Rapper Plies actually graduated from the University of South Florida. Plies has a back-up plan. What’s yours?

~Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

Honesty Box HATERS!

Honesty Box: A Facebook application that allows users to send anonymous private messages to one another. This application comes in handy during such situations like asking your biggest crush what his "type" is or even sharing a secret with someone. Of course, not EVERYONE is going to have something good to say about you; which is understandable because most people don't strike me as the sweetest cup of tea, either. But what gets me, what really gets me are the people who send NEGATIVE anonymous messages! Seriously, if you loathe someone so much as to take the time out and tell them how much you hate them ANONYMOUSLY, then WHY did you even add them as a friend? I used to love using the application, but now I think that most people are starting to abuse it. The other day, I received the LONGEST and most DETAILED anonymous message from a FEMALE!! I couldn't believe that there are some SERIOUS haters out there such as this one...and I quote:

Anonymous Girl: "the only memeory i have of you is when Jordan threw that chili on you LOL it looked like shit all over on ur clothes! hahaahaha u deserved it too cuz u THOUGHT u were cute in your ecko shirt and them cheap ass red chinese slippers hahaha"

......wow. So not only did she remember a slightly embarrassing incident that happened in HIGH school, but she remembered what kind of clothes I had on at the time AND what color they were. Now, I don't know what this sounds like to you all, but to me it sounds like shorty has some serious personal issues! She can't possibly have issues with me because I don't talk to anyone that I went to high school with. It just amazes me how people can be so unhappy with themselves that they call out negative things about another person. I wonder, did that make her feel better? Did she REALLY think that her comment hurt my feelings?

Silly haters...stop wasting your time.

First Dates

What is expected on a first date?
Seriously, think about it...
In my opinion, it seems like standards have plummeted.
Whatever happened to a male driving up to the residence, walking nervously up to the front door, knocking, then being faced by an intimidating father, or a welcoming mother?
Whatever happened to being led into the living room to engage in shaky small talk with the parent until the lady appears at the door-- looking gorgeous as she tells her mother/father to "shut up" and leave you alone? Whatever happened to you standing up and smiling at her, excited for the night to come, the lady smiling as she takes the flowers you purchased for her and smells them.
*Notice I said purchase. NOT the ones you pick on the way there, or steal from your mother's vase.*
Whatever happened to dinner? Respect? Chivalry? Opening the door, pulling out chairs, allowing her to order first?
Whatever happened to the movies? Allowing her to chose the movie-- hoping that it's scary so she can push up against you? Smiling extra hard when she chooses a "chick flick" even though you KNOW you don't want to see it? Sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside her, not thinking about the movie at all, but pondering if you should place your arm around her or not?
Whatever happened to walking her to her door?
Watching her walk inside before you pull off?
The first kiss?
Wait...is a kiss on the first date slutty? Disrespectful?
Is sex acceptable on the first date?
Before you start to wonder if I'm a sensitive dude stuck in a romantic comedy, hear me out. I was talking to a few MEN the other day, and they were wondering the same thing.
As respectable gentlemen, we wondered what happened to the "DATE"?
Nowadays, a "date" is a guy calling-- wait, pardon me, TEXTING a lady after 9PM and asking her if she'd like to come over and "chill."
Correct me I'm wrong.

"hey, baby grl. whatchu doin?"
"nothing, finishing up some homework. what's up?"
"sitting here bored. tryin 2 find sumthing 2 do. U wanna chill? watch a movie?"
"sure. I'll text you when I'm done."
"Bet :-)"

She comes over, they start to watch a movie, then all of a sudden his real motives appear very clearly...
Is this what ladies expect and settle for?
On the flipside, I'm tired of taking women out on dates and spending money then later realizing that I don't want to date her. Everybody is on their best behavior on the first date, so it takes a couple dates to realize that this...just...isn't for me. By then you've taken her around the city, and spent money that you can't get back.
What is the correct dating etiquette?
I'm asking the ladies and gentlemen to speak their minds on this one.
What do you think a good date is? What is the worst? What HAS been your best date? What was your WORST?
Speak to me!

~ L. McCall

Do titles screw up a relationship?

I was riding in my car listening to Ryan Cameron on V-103 the other day when he mentioned Oprah’s thoughts on her relationship with Stedman.

“Had we made the official marriage commitment, we wouldn’t still be together. The reason the relationship works is that we get to define it on our terms. It would be very different if we were in a ‘traditional’ relationship where I was expected to be a wife and every now and then cook a meal!”

Now mind you, Oprah has been with Stedman for over 20 years but has no intentions on getting married. That’s a long time to be in a relationship and not make that “official” commitment. In reading this, I had to wonder if the real reason Oprah chooses to not marry is because she’s protecting her assets or is it that her perception of what marriage should be is a bit distorted. Do we still believe that men and women are required to play those “traditional” roles in their relationships…especially with the change of the times? Are married women still required to stay home and “cook a meal” while her husband works to support the family?

…BUT then I realized that maybe it’s me that has the distorted perception of what relationships and marriage should be.

I am afraid of commitments and it’s not because I think I will cheat. I think at times we, as woman have a habit of forcing men into relationships and situations that they are not ready to commit to. For us, titles become important over time. We need to know if we are the main chick, mistress, girlfriend, fiancee, wife. We need to know our status…

Do Titles Screw A Relationship up? I ask this because with titles we create limitations and boundaries in our relationships which in turn creates unnecessary (or necessary) pressure. My expectations of a person as my boyfriend are higher than that of a friend I am just dating. My expectations of my husband are higher than that of a person that is just my boyfriend. MizzSassy2u said it best on twitter “[It may not be titles that causes the issues in relationships] It’s the change that occurs in individuals because of their perspective on what the title means that causes issues”. Why is it that my cousin dated her high school sweetheart for 12 years but it wasn’t until they tied the knot and she became wife that the problems started to arise.

Also when I think of me in a fully committed relationship, I think of me losing myself to become what my significant other wants me to be. When I think of me as a wife, I think of me giving up my career, my goals, my dreams in an effort to take care of home and help him support his. Distorted I know… but that’s how I grew up and what I saw within the relationships of my own family.

I want to break out of that…because I know more than anything it’s about compromise…BUT right now, I am happy with companionship.

Comments on the Oprah post in AJC

It is hard to believe that so many women live their life by this woman. Even though there is nothing wrong with being single but is she sending the right message to young women? You do not have to get married but just find someone you can put up with for the rest of your life. If he messes up, kick him him to the curb besides I am not giving up my half to him but I will take his !!!

Long Term Companion – This is what society has sank to. Young women grow up and prepare themselves to find a Long Term Companion! What kind of foolishness is this? The correct term for this type of woman is an Old Maid!!! How glamorous does that sound?

I’m not going to die an Old Maid, I will promise you that… BUT I do feel Oprah. I will get married when I feel like it and he can keep his half. Well, that’s unless he f*cks up…

Cheers to your relationship Oprah!

~ Taken from Necole Bitchie

Eulogy to "Swagger"...R.I.P

I come forth to you today
For the many respects that I must pay
To a euphemism; a generic word
In which for these past few years we've all heard.
This term has been so badly abused
That its meaning has deteriorated because of its misuse.
So I just thought I'd be the one to let you know
That "swagger" is dead. May it rest in peace...let it go.
A not so wise man once said, and I quote,
"Swagger never died
It only has for the people that never had it but only tried."
I don't know exactly what he was trying to imply
So I thought about it before I sarcastically replied:
"I know that swag is a word in which you take pride
But your theory is bogus, so I must defy.
To the narrow mind your statement probably sounded pretty fly
But in reality, no one used that term until 2005...
And if you tell me you did, you're a goddamn lie!
So I guess it wasn't until 2005.....when you tried."
I don't mean to be rude or offend anyone
But so many people claim to have swag but really have none.
Swag has been raped by you "futuristic polo kings"
But it's time to let it rest alongside the word "bling".
If you think you're different in your polo's and true's
Look around you....EVERYONE else is rocking it, too!
And if you call it hating, you got life so confused
Because "hating" is saying things that's not true.
Pardon me for not being the same
And excuse me for being Against the grain
But never will I conform to such ignorant trends
That the media has led you to condescend
If you don't like what I'm saying don't be mad at us
Just go rant like usual in your swagtastic Facebook status!

This is the Eulogy to "Swagger"....R.I.P. )=

Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

I know that at some time in our lives all of us have watched the American classic cartoon Peanuts, which held a main character named Charlie Brown. I was never a Peanuts fan, but I would watch it on holidays with my family when my mother wanted us to gather around and watch The Great Pumpkin, or A Charlie Brown Christmas. I can’t remember much about the show- shoot, I can’t even name any characters other than Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy and Snoopy, but there will always be a scene in the series that I will never forget. This was a part of the show that made everybody laugh…but Charlie Brown.
The infamous football kick.

We all recognize it, and know when it’s coming.
All you have to do is see Lucy with a football in her hand, and you whisper under your breath…'uh oh.'
For those that don’t remember, the routine went as follows: one day Lucy kneeled down, balanced a football between her hand and the ground, and asked Charlie to come kick it. He thought it sounded fun, so he backed up, ran as fast as he could towards Lucy and the ball, pulled his foot back to kick the ball into oblivion,
-but kicked nothing but air as the force from his foot carried him up in the air and he landed flat on his back.
Some of you may ask- what happened? Did he miss?
NO! Lucy pulled the ball from his reach!
She then would laugh and walk away carrying the ball, and Charlie would look at his audience with an expression of embarrassment, and mutter his infamous words- “Good greif.”
Many of us would feel sorry for Charlie, and hope that he never falls for that trick again, but guess what?
He did.
Time and time again Lucy would balance the ball and invite Charlie to come kick it. At first he would make up excuse after excuse explaining why he refused to fall for her tactics anymore, but Lucy would insist and persuade, making kicking the football sound like heaven…
So Charlie would ignore the past, back up, run towards the ball at top speed, pull his foot back, kick for the ball with all his might…
…fly in the air, and then land on his ass once again.
Many would think that something must be wrong with Charlie…this was way too easy.
Yes, something was very wrong with Charlie- he was determined.
Should we fault him for such?
I could never understand what the hell Charles Schulz was trying to say when he did these sketches...
…until now.
For some time now, I’ve felt like Charlie.
There are women who enter my life, and seem like they can offer me a great opportunity- a chance to kick a football…a chance to fall in love.
Things go great…chemistry starts flowing- or overflowing, depending on who it is…feelings grow…the idea of love looks quite nice to me…
…as nice as kicking a football...
She balances the football between her hand, and the ground- their wants and my wants, and then orders me to back up so I can kick the ball clear out onto the sky.
Kick off a relationship...start up the love..
I back up…smile…fix my determination…then run for my goal.
At some time between me backing up, running towards her, or pulling my leg back, she decides that this is not what she wants.
She doesn’t want me to kick the ball.
She doesn’t want us to work together to kick something off clear into the sky…
So she pulls away, excuse me- pulls the ball from my reach, and I slip up, fly in the air with nothing to hold onto- completely vulnerable, then slam backwards on my ass.
In other words, I get hurt.

“Good grief.”
I remain dizzy for some time, and all I can hear is her snickering behind me, wondering how I could be such a fool.
She then goes on with her life, holding the football in her hands, leaving me with nothing but pain to endure.
No matter how close I got, what I wanted was always pulled from my reach before I even got the chance to connect with it.
Me, being a Charlie, brush myself off and move on with my life in time…and then Lucy returns.
A few moments later, I’m laying on the ground again muttering “good grief.”
No more.
As of right now, I’m saying screw the football- I don’t need it.
I can live without kicking a football- I don’t even like sports.
I’m learning from Charlie’s mistakes.
Charlie Brown NEVER got a chance to kick the ball- all the way until the end of the series, though his attempts were numerous.
I’m switching character and focusing on what I love most, kinda like Linus.
Fall back, Sally.

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall