B4U

What on earth did I think about all the time before you?
Because these days, it seems like there's some type of 'love screen' filtering my views
I'm aware that the world was existent before us, but
I must admit that it hasn't been the same at all afterward
My closest advise me to get over you and get a life
Cuz, like...I used to feel fly,
But now I'm delayed, left feeling like I missed my flight
What on earth did I think about all the time before you?
Because hereafter, it seems that you're all that's on my mind
- the bad days, the great nights, battles, fights, but mostly- the good times,
like...hitting downtown Atlanta Monday night, eating half priced Burgers from Atlantic grill
Or candlelit dinners, filling our glasses with Chateau Ste. Michelle
Damn, it really seems like Everything I see sparks a thought that brings you to mind
I struggle to forget, though I know that its a losing Fight,
cuz even every time I hear about something simple- like a friend freezing Gummies
that shoots me to the late nights we spent battling the munchies
and every time I catch a quick glimpse of a Husky,
Immediately, I start to smile at previous conversations about our dream puppy
I...think of the nights that it was just I and you...
...listening to Badu...
...Janelle monae...
...or...even Waka Flocka Flames
Whereas every other girl in the world may think I'm so LAME,
you just laughed at my corniness- I loved how your smile remained the same
And though it seemed that over time, certain things would change
our craziness remained consistent and our connection never tamed
because we loved each other seriously, but could show it so simply
like a Kiss on the forehead, or a Dasani bottle full of Lillies
I still get butterflies like I did the morning of our first Meeting
because you're still- to this day- the best thing I never knew I Needed
I love the fact that you're a woman who can enjoy the Outdoors
yet, still be cool with lounging around the house in your PINK boy shorts
Staying up all night, or going to sleep early
chasing you around the house...tussling...flirting
taking Cozmo quizzes...laughing at your nerdy sayings
Though I made fun of you, I'd never change your Quirky ways
My poem Relapse says everything needed to say
about exactly how I feel every time that you're away
I miss how thick your hair was...or how your legs remained Smooth
You were the loud in my bubbler...haha...the broth in my soup
Speaking of food...I'll never forger the Tapas at Eclipse de Luna,
or the times we took my dog for walks under the Moon, or
how you tiptoed when you tried on a dress when you didn't have on shoes...
The question still remains...What on earth did I think about all the time before...U?
And can my mind be clear of thoughts of us...after you?
Unfortunately for me, I have a feeling that this curse may continue
...leading to thoughts of us making love in all types of various Venues
-from a park bench outside right beside a lake's view
-to the time we left our friends to step outside of the W...whew...
Just because your my eX don't mean the feelings left
that hinder me from moving on to whatever else is next...
I have no idea what i thought about before You took over my mind, baby
and I really don't care- I welcome you to continue tainting my A through Z

~ Lucius McCall

P e a c e B y [ P e a c e ]

If I give you my heart piece by piece, at what point will it shatter?
What piece will it be?
I've always wanted to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally...
Naturally.
But time and time again, I've been told that all men deceive...
Time and time again, I've proven this theory to be Concrete;
It has happened to me.
I just want to believe what I see here in front of me
But I hold back just in case you're not who you seem,
I realize with love there are risks involved.
You seem to be worth it, but what if you're not?
To test this out, I give you another piece of my heart...
I hand it to you slowly without reluctance;
However, I still brace myself for destruction.
I'd like to think that your heart is as pure as mine,
But it's too good to be true--so I start looking for clues.
I wonder what secrets are embedded in you.
What old emotions are you holding on to?
So here, I give another piece of my heart to you.
Not to trick you, but to simply elicit the truth.
By nature
I've always been faithful.
I'd hate to know that you'd cheat.
You say that you wouldn't, but do you practice what you preach?
Words are powerful--
But a word is only a word unless proceeded by a verb...
So I heard.

Because even verbs can be modified by manipulative adjectives.

As you can see, I tend to think too deeply
But in reality, this isn't as deep as it seems.
Because until I know you love me,
There will always be a peace of me
That you will never see.

Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

Way To Go, Kam!!

I went to visit and spend some time with my sister this week. As we talked, I watched my 6-year old niece, Jordyn, play with her 2-year-old friend, Kameron. While playing, Jordyn noticed a small spider creeping across the kitchen floor. Like me, my niece is TERRIFIED of spiders! She pointed at it and screamed,
"Spider!!!!!!"
Jordyn then ran behind the kitchen table.
"'Pider?"
Baby Kam asked in a concerned voice as he located the 8-legged critter. He then stuck out his little chest and smashed the spider with his 3-inch sneaker.
"Way to go, Kam!"
My sister and I cheered as Kam walked behind the table to comfort Jordyn.
"It okay, Jordy. 'Pider dead now,"
Kam said, assuring Jordyn that it was okay to come back out and play. He took her hand, and they resumed their game of tag around the table.

Any average person would think that's cute, right? ...and it is; but I think that it's a lot more than cute. In fact, it shines light on the roles of women and men in a relationship, and how relationships do not work out because one role is distorted in relevance to the other. My question is this: Why can't some men play their roles correctly without making up excuses? Most of the time, women CLEARLY indicate what their needs are, and a good man will try to fulfill those needs by any means necessary. I'm not saying that a man should break his neck to fulfill irrational needs for his lady, but if the man can easily provide it, we shouldn't have to ask. Of course, this goes both ways.

Even as a baby, Kameron instinctively felt like it was his job to rid my niece of her fear of the spider. He recongized that if she was afraid of the bug and he was not, then he could do something to make it better. And without question, that's exactly what he did. He protected her and provided a comfortable area for her to play without fear. Jordyn let Kam comfort her, making him feel proud as she showed him that she was no longer afraid.

So men. Stop acting surprised that your baby's-mama is blowing you up when you haven't paid child support in 6 months. Stop acting surprised that your girlfriend is mad at you because you have time to give her but aren't sparing her a single minute! Ladies, don't be surprised that your man no longer has the ambition to do better when you're constantly calling him a nigga and telling him that he's not shit! Don't expect your man to be secure when he walked into the club to find you bent over on another man! Don't blame your partner for finding you repulsing and doesn't want you touching them because YOU cheated!

In relationships (and by that, I mean SERIOUS relationships), needs vary on different entities whether they be tangible or simply abstract. On all levels, needs must be met...and if they can't, the LEAST you can do is try! If you love your partner, you know them as well. So you know what his or her needs are without them always having to tell you. The excuse, "I can't read minds" is BULL****! Babies can't talk, and you can't read their minds, either. But when they cry, you already know to explore what the baby needs, and you fulfill it without even reading its mind.

So men, be a Baby Kameron and provide for your lady without her having to ask. Ladies, be a Jordyn and show appreciation for everything that he does so that he feels proud of himself.

God bless,

Breezy

It's in the approach

Watch the video first (The whole thing. Trust me...it's worth it):

Let's ignore the color issue, because I'm sure women of other ethnicity experience the same things.
WOMEN...how do men approach you?
How would you like them to approach you?
Is there a difference?
Speaking to a friend of mine recently, she said she was simply walking past the dining hall on her college campus when a male called out to her. She remained walking, and instead of the male moving on with his life, he chose to allow his ego to speak for him, and he called out

"Well fuck you too then, bitch!"

Is this acceptable? Have you experienced the same?
The women in the preview above seemed to be really affected by the attitudes and actions of men when they're walking by to the point where they choose to cross the street when nearing a group of men.
On the flip side, are these women being too sensitive?
Should simple, ignorant words have such an impact on their feelings and actions?
Why can't women just ignore these men?
What if a man starts to follow you when you ignore him? What is he tries to harm you- just because you weren't interested.
Should you entertain the nonsense just to be safe?
This is real life, people. Speak out- ladies and gentlemen. Talk to each other in the comment section and get a feel of what the opposite or same sex feels.
I'd really like a man to comment...a man who's done this type of thing before. Personally, I haven't and I'd like to know where his mind is at.
LADIES, speak out- I want to hear you!!

~ L. McCall

Tyson Beckford...Gay?

Supermodel, Tyson Beckford, has had rumors floating around stating that he was gay for years now, but does this video prove it??? Watch...

What do you think? A lot of people have taken his thoughts to another level, and claim that this is proof that he is gay.
I think not.
I could have sworn that homosexual, or "gay" meant being attracted to, or participating in sexual acts with the same sex. There is no proff that Tyson has done either of these things-- he just stated his opinion.
Is he "gay" for being comfortable enough with his sexuality that he can speak his mind and say exactly what he thinks without worrying about what these close-minded people may think?
Maybe I'm tripping.

Comments have gone as far to say:

"A straight man wouldn't have entertained that question."

"He's too cute to be gay!"

...all comments that I find to be ignorant.
Let me know what YOU think!!

~ L. McCall

CBox Question #1!!!

Many of you may not know, but the Cbox to the right can be utilized to ask questions so that you can get an honest answer from a gentleman/lady. You can be completely anonymous, or you can place your name-- it's all up to you. If that's too complicated, or personal for you, send your questions to lmccall4@students.kennesaw.edu and your questions will be answered to the best of our ability! Let's get started with the first question:

"Why, when a guy breaks up with a girl, do they not speak to them and put on a "I don't care about you" act?"

Seeing that I don't know the guy- nor the situation, as a male I can only attempt to tell you exactly what's going on in his head. If there is a reason for him to not speak to you- like if you cheated or did him dirty, the reason he's acting this way is pretty self explanatory. You may not even know he knows something- everything in the dark comes to light at some time. So you may want to check your tracks before you start to question his. If he doesn't have a legit reason to not speak to you, he may just be trying to create one in his head.

"I want to see if she cares enough about me to call/ text me first."
"Okay, she calls/texts me first, but I want to see if she keeps doing it even if i give her short answers or don't respond at all. It will show that she really cares."

I know, I know, it may sound so stupid and unfair to you, but for some reason this makes complete sense in most men's heads! Unfortunately, men have an ultimate ego problem that covers our whole hearts-- unless we're in love. I can make this bold statement, and if anyone chooses to disagree, that's what the comment section is for- LOVE CANCELS OUT EGO because LOVE WIPES OUT ALL FEAR. True love, that is- not the love you feel when you're wearing "love goggles" which is a whole different subject for a different day. If the guy loved you, he wouldn't be acting like an ass once you guys have broken up, right? He'd probably be trying to get you back. Makes sense, right? Or...they may be trying to get at someone else. Some guys know that if they act mean towards you and ignore you, it'll attract you more because you like the chase. Hopefully that's not your case because this is how you get abused due to a stupid complex you carry. Usually the reasons for a man's actions are laid out in front of your face, but you may ignore it due to denial.

Stop doing that.

You know why he's doing what he's doing. Just accept it and move on to someone else. Hopefully, it'll be their loss and if you're a good girl- it WILL be. And he'll be coming back.
But when he does...you know what to do!

Once again, direct your questions to the cbox to the right of you, or just shoot them to the email listed above. We pledge to respond to each question quickly and accordingly!
Peace.

~ L. McCall

Myths of Racial Perceptions

On Tyra's show the other day, the issue of interracial dating was discussed. The following quotes were said by the people chosen to confer this particular issue

White Man: I would never date a black woman, not because of your skin tone but because of how I was raised. You have to think about what the kids would go through. I wouldn’t want my kids to go through what ya’ll go through.
Black Woman: No one understands how hard it is for a black woman. I’m educated. I was always raised to be able to take care of myself because if a black man didn’t want me than I would have to still be able to raise my kids and take care of myself. But what hurts so much is that even after accomplishing all this, black men don’t want me, white men don’t want me, Asian men don’t want me, and Latin men don’t want me. It is so discouraging because at the end of the day, I hear these stereotypes [about black women]-- I’m loud. I’m aggressive. I’m gonna beat my man up or whatever and that is not the case”
White Man: I think white girls that go out with black guys are sluts
Black Woman: Asian women are like black men. They step out on their community. He has issues within himself and he gets a white trophy on his arm for show. Black women are educated. They want a strong man basically we’re (black women and white men) are on the same level. We have the same goals
White Woman: I wasn’t brought up that way. I come from a Christian family. I was told not to date out of your race. My grandparents and my parents have told me not only once, but a lot of times that it’s in the bible that you’re not supposed to date outside of your race.
White Man: It’s sexually derived because stereotypically, black guys are bigger.

You may watch the video or read these statements and believe that these orators are crazy. But due to our society, you may not be too much better yourself.

“We all live in America, but culturally we’re completely different.” said a character about the difference between blacks and whites in a movie I was watching recently. This made me raise an eyebrow, but I let it slide off my shoulder.
Later on in the movie, its attempts to get my brain stirred up prevailed.
Interracial relationships were brought up in a conversation, and the conversation went as follows:
“Black men just like you white women because you are easy, docile, and submissive!” A black lady snarled across the room towards a white woman.
“You may still be stuck in the 20’s when EVERY woman was said to be this way, but times have changed! I’m tired of this s**t! I’m sick of the looks I get every time I’m walking anywhere with a black male!” The white woman returned fire.
“Well if you’re sick of it, stop doing it! They’re our men! There are very few good brothers out there, so do you have to dig out of the limited amount that we have?”
“Black men are not a commodity. You don’t own them. They don’t belong to you. They can make choices for themselves!”
The black lady paused before releasing this depressed balloon of a rebuttal:
“Well I don’t care, I’m just real sick of these white b***hes.”

Even though this conversation took place in a movie, its connotation was very real. Real people actually think like this—everyday.
Real people actually believe that a black man, and white woman- or a white man and a black woman shouldn’t be together.
Real people actually stand by this opinion and are willing to declare it to the death.
Real people who are NOT racist.
Real people who ARE indeed ignorant.
Like love, ignorance has no color, so many different people of all kinds of different hues feel the same way.
It’s ridiculous.

First of all…who are they to tell me what I can, or can’t be attracted to?
To tell me what kind of candy I have a taste for?
To tell me what kind of fruit I enjoy?
They are nobody-- to me at least.

I was on a radio show one day, and we were talking about interracial couples. The question was:
“Why do black males like white women?”
I responded “Why not?”
Why can I not look past the skin color of a woman into their personality; their depth? Why must I look past the way she may treat me and ignore the things we have in common, but focus on the mere membrane of a perfectly packed cell? Why can’t I try the shirt on-- feel the fabric, test the looseness, but just look at the color and size? Why can’t I try a new brand of clothing? Can’t I ever open up my mind without being shunned for thinking outside the box that this earth has attempted time and time again to stuff me inside of?

The radio personality blatantly said that she could never date a black man who was down with dating white women, because he could never “handle” her.
Well I guess she’s out of luck, because I could have treated her like a queen—but since I’m open minded, she’ll never ever receive that chance.

I recall telling my mother that I was planning on bringing my ex girlfriend (who is Caucasian) to church with me (a predominately black Methodist church). My mother started to cry.
When I asked her what the problem was, her response was as follows:
“I don’t care who you date, but I told you before that you can do anything but bring her to church. I don’t want you bringing a white woman to our church!”
Extremely offended, I called my mother a racist.
She denied it, of course, and rebutted “I just want you to find a nice black woman who will remain strong and be there by your side…”
My mother has this idea that there’s not a woman out there who can understand the struggles that a black man faces unless she’s black. To be completely frank, I believe that is a crock.

Why?

Because I don’t believe that color marks a person’s level of understanding. I believe that it’s class.
There are black women out there who will never have to lift a finger—meaning that they will never face any resistance, therefore they will fail to fully understand any “struggle” that a black man may have to face. There are also white women who weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouths, so they have to fight for everything they possess! So is color really an issue, or is it economic class?

Something that I cannot stand is when a person automatically places me in a category due to my past and says the bold statement—“He likes white women.”
What the hell do you mean I “like white women?” You’re damn right I do! I like white women, black women, yellow women, brown women, purple women—shoot, if you’re attractive to me, you JUST ARE. It has nothing to do with your skin color. It has to do with my TASTE.

Another thing that makes my skin crawl is when mixed people have an ignorant input on the issue. How dare a light skinned man or woman protest against interracial relationships?
Guess what, guys? You’re a product of interracial dating! So are YOU a disgrace? Do you regret yourself?

It really bothers me that people can be SO ignorant- especially my fellow African Americans. How DARE we practice racism when we were the target for discrimination for years and years—after our ancestors fought to rise out of slavery, and our predecessors struggled to kill away all prejudice and inequity? How dare we turn around and say “no, my son/friend/daughter/ can’t be with a white woman/man” after years of fighting for the right to SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER???

We fought for decades to be able to drink from the same water fountain and eat at the same diners, yet when we finally achieve that goal, we choose to flip the script and revive segregation?

Can we say hypocrisy?

Is it payback? Does this make it right?

Am I being completely naive? Or am I just being too optimistic when it comes to addressing the world’s present and future?

What do YOU think?

-- Lucius McCall

Derrion Albert

For those who may not know, Derrion Albert, 16, a Chicago high school honor student was mercilessly slain last week when caught in the middle of a gang war. The video of the beating is below.

Watching this video moved me and I realized that there is SO much work to do. So many young brothers think that fighting and killing each other is the cool thing to do due to the way they are raised and the company they keep. The music they listen to. It's saddening.
I remember growing up in Brooklyn, New York where it was cool to be in a gang. It was cool to fight. That's how you got girls, that's how you got "rank", that's how you were made popular.
You fought.

Is THIS how we want young black males to be perceived?
I don't even go to urban clubs anymore because I may face the risk of dealing with the problems in the previous video.
Should things be this way? When the police see a group of black people, they immediately tense up, thinking that something stupid is going to pop off. Shouldn't we be coming together to build each other up, rather than fight and KILL each other?
Shouldn't we be sticking together rather than pulling each other apart? After the years of strife where we had no choice but to COME TOGETHER-- where we felt the need to create fraternities so that we can form a closer bond and be strong in numbers, we choose to join gangs and destroy what our forefathers fought so hard to build?
I guess it's all about being cool, right?

"Tell me when...when will violence between us lower in caliber? How many more times will we have to see stories similar to Derrion Albert? Gangster mentality, mixed with the pride of a fool...caused a young brother's death in the front of a SCHOOL...just to be cool, we refuse to ever back down...so we do the crab thing...and remain pulling each other back down...this sh*t is saddening..."

~L. McCall

Cartoon Land is Over!

Do you remember how you used to love cartoons when you were a child? You would sit attentively on the couch with your eyes glued to the television set for hours as if the program was mesmerizing you. When you would finish, you wondered if batman would come and rescue you in real life if you were to ever get in trouble. You also wondered what would happen if you jumped off of a cliff holding an umbrella. As children, it’s fun fantasizing about unrealistic things such as flying superheroes and using umbrellas as aero-floatation devices. When we grow up and learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality, cartoons are no longer entertaining to us. However, we indulge in a new type of fantasy; a fantasy that has been changing the way we socialize, dress, think, and act for as long as I can remember. This fantasy is modern day music.

“Car full of choppers and everybody quiet. Car full of goons and everybody certified.”

These are lyrics from the song Goons Lurkin’ by rapper Plies. For those of you that don’t know, a “goon” in the urban community is considered to be a street drug runner or in lamest terms, a thug. The lyrics above are implying that there is a car full of gangsters who are all carrying guns. They are “lurking”, meaning that they are about to rob someone, perform a drive-by, or carry out any other illegal activity.

Young people tend to embrace the violent and sexually exploitative nature that most rap music entails by dressing, acting, and speaking like their favorite entertainers. Notice that I said entertainers, because that’s what rappers do; they entertain. The purpose of entertainers is to amuse and please their audience. Just like actors, the characters that rappers portray are more than likely not who they really are or want to be. But for the sake of pleasing their audience, entertainers put on their best performance to make the act appear as real as possible. They conduct staged performances that appear real and have fake drama with other celebrities in order to gain more media attention. Most urban youngsters are extremely vulnerable to these performances and are pressured to act out the characters of their favorite hip hop idles. Their vulnerability becomes a problem when they actually start to believe the things they see and hear in entertainment media, just like with the cartoons we used to believe in as children.

When will we grow up and realize that it is all make believe? Not everyone can be a celebrity. Not everyone will be able to drop out of high school because they were discovered by some big time producer in a community talent show. When will men realize that they’ll never find a virtuous lady as long as they have a “thug” mentality and exploits females? When will people realize that they actually can go to jail for distributing drugs and carrying illegal weapons? When will people stop living in cartoon land?

While you all are trying to emulate Plies by disrespecting women and throwing all of your hard earned McDonald's money at the club calling yourselves a “goon”, your idle is sitting on a four-year college degree. That’s right. Rapper Plies actually graduated from the University of South Florida. Plies has a back-up plan. What’s yours?

~Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

Honesty Box HATERS!

Honesty Box: A Facebook application that allows users to send anonymous private messages to one another. This application comes in handy during such situations like asking your biggest crush what his "type" is or even sharing a secret with someone. Of course, not EVERYONE is going to have something good to say about you; which is understandable because most people don't strike me as the sweetest cup of tea, either. But what gets me, what really gets me are the people who send NEGATIVE anonymous messages! Seriously, if you loathe someone so much as to take the time out and tell them how much you hate them ANONYMOUSLY, then WHY did you even add them as a friend? I used to love using the application, but now I think that most people are starting to abuse it. The other day, I received the LONGEST and most DETAILED anonymous message from a FEMALE!! I couldn't believe that there are some SERIOUS haters out there such as this one...and I quote:

Anonymous Girl: "the only memeory i have of you is when Jordan threw that chili on you LOL it looked like shit all over on ur clothes! hahaahaha u deserved it too cuz u THOUGHT u were cute in your ecko shirt and them cheap ass red chinese slippers hahaha"

......wow. So not only did she remember a slightly embarrassing incident that happened in HIGH school, but she remembered what kind of clothes I had on at the time AND what color they were. Now, I don't know what this sounds like to you all, but to me it sounds like shorty has some serious personal issues! She can't possibly have issues with me because I don't talk to anyone that I went to high school with. It just amazes me how people can be so unhappy with themselves that they call out negative things about another person. I wonder, did that make her feel better? Did she REALLY think that her comment hurt my feelings?

Silly haters...stop wasting your time.

First Dates

What is expected on a first date?
Seriously, think about it...
In my opinion, it seems like standards have plummeted.
Whatever happened to a male driving up to the residence, walking nervously up to the front door, knocking, then being faced by an intimidating father, or a welcoming mother?
Whatever happened to being led into the living room to engage in shaky small talk with the parent until the lady appears at the door-- looking gorgeous as she tells her mother/father to "shut up" and leave you alone? Whatever happened to you standing up and smiling at her, excited for the night to come, the lady smiling as she takes the flowers you purchased for her and smells them.
*Notice I said purchase. NOT the ones you pick on the way there, or steal from your mother's vase.*
Whatever happened to dinner? Respect? Chivalry? Opening the door, pulling out chairs, allowing her to order first?
Whatever happened to the movies? Allowing her to chose the movie-- hoping that it's scary so she can push up against you? Smiling extra hard when she chooses a "chick flick" even though you KNOW you don't want to see it? Sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside her, not thinking about the movie at all, but pondering if you should place your arm around her or not?
Whatever happened to walking her to her door?
Watching her walk inside before you pull off?
The first kiss?
Wait...is a kiss on the first date slutty? Disrespectful?
Is sex acceptable on the first date?
Before you start to wonder if I'm a sensitive dude stuck in a romantic comedy, hear me out. I was talking to a few MEN the other day, and they were wondering the same thing.
As respectable gentlemen, we wondered what happened to the "DATE"?
Nowadays, a "date" is a guy calling-- wait, pardon me, TEXTING a lady after 9PM and asking her if she'd like to come over and "chill."
Correct me I'm wrong.

"hey, baby grl. whatchu doin?"
"nothing, finishing up some homework. what's up?"
"sitting here bored. tryin 2 find sumthing 2 do. U wanna chill? watch a movie?"
"sure. I'll text you when I'm done."
"Bet :-)"

She comes over, they start to watch a movie, then all of a sudden his real motives appear very clearly...
Is this what ladies expect and settle for?
On the flipside, I'm tired of taking women out on dates and spending money then later realizing that I don't want to date her. Everybody is on their best behavior on the first date, so it takes a couple dates to realize that this...just...isn't for me. By then you've taken her around the city, and spent money that you can't get back.
What is the correct dating etiquette?
I'm asking the ladies and gentlemen to speak their minds on this one.
What do you think a good date is? What is the worst? What HAS been your best date? What was your WORST?
Speak to me!

~ L. McCall

Do titles screw up a relationship?

I was riding in my car listening to Ryan Cameron on V-103 the other day when he mentioned Oprah’s thoughts on her relationship with Stedman.

“Had we made the official marriage commitment, we wouldn’t still be together. The reason the relationship works is that we get to define it on our terms. It would be very different if we were in a ‘traditional’ relationship where I was expected to be a wife and every now and then cook a meal!”

Now mind you, Oprah has been with Stedman for over 20 years but has no intentions on getting married. That’s a long time to be in a relationship and not make that “official” commitment. In reading this, I had to wonder if the real reason Oprah chooses to not marry is because she’s protecting her assets or is it that her perception of what marriage should be is a bit distorted. Do we still believe that men and women are required to play those “traditional” roles in their relationships…especially with the change of the times? Are married women still required to stay home and “cook a meal” while her husband works to support the family?

…BUT then I realized that maybe it’s me that has the distorted perception of what relationships and marriage should be.

I am afraid of commitments and it’s not because I think I will cheat. I think at times we, as woman have a habit of forcing men into relationships and situations that they are not ready to commit to. For us, titles become important over time. We need to know if we are the main chick, mistress, girlfriend, fiancee, wife. We need to know our status…

Do Titles Screw A Relationship up? I ask this because with titles we create limitations and boundaries in our relationships which in turn creates unnecessary (or necessary) pressure. My expectations of a person as my boyfriend are higher than that of a friend I am just dating. My expectations of my husband are higher than that of a person that is just my boyfriend. MizzSassy2u said it best on twitter “[It may not be titles that causes the issues in relationships] It’s the change that occurs in individuals because of their perspective on what the title means that causes issues”. Why is it that my cousin dated her high school sweetheart for 12 years but it wasn’t until they tied the knot and she became wife that the problems started to arise.

Also when I think of me in a fully committed relationship, I think of me losing myself to become what my significant other wants me to be. When I think of me as a wife, I think of me giving up my career, my goals, my dreams in an effort to take care of home and help him support his. Distorted I know… but that’s how I grew up and what I saw within the relationships of my own family.

I want to break out of that…because I know more than anything it’s about compromise…BUT right now, I am happy with companionship.

Comments on the Oprah post in AJC

It is hard to believe that so many women live their life by this woman. Even though there is nothing wrong with being single but is she sending the right message to young women? You do not have to get married but just find someone you can put up with for the rest of your life. If he messes up, kick him him to the curb besides I am not giving up my half to him but I will take his !!!

Long Term Companion – This is what society has sank to. Young women grow up and prepare themselves to find a Long Term Companion! What kind of foolishness is this? The correct term for this type of woman is an Old Maid!!! How glamorous does that sound?

I’m not going to die an Old Maid, I will promise you that… BUT I do feel Oprah. I will get married when I feel like it and he can keep his half. Well, that’s unless he f*cks up…

Cheers to your relationship Oprah!

~ Taken from Necole Bitchie

Eulogy to "Swagger"...R.I.P

I come forth to you today
For the many respects that I must pay
To a euphemism; a generic word
In which for these past few years we've all heard.
This term has been so badly abused
That its meaning has deteriorated because of its misuse.
So I just thought I'd be the one to let you know
That "swagger" is dead. May it rest in peace...let it go.
A not so wise man once said, and I quote,
"Swagger never died
It only has for the people that never had it but only tried."
I don't know exactly what he was trying to imply
So I thought about it before I sarcastically replied:
"I know that swag is a word in which you take pride
But your theory is bogus, so I must defy.
To the narrow mind your statement probably sounded pretty fly
But in reality, no one used that term until 2005...
And if you tell me you did, you're a goddamn lie!
So I guess it wasn't until 2005.....when you tried."
I don't mean to be rude or offend anyone
But so many people claim to have swag but really have none.
Swag has been raped by you "futuristic polo kings"
But it's time to let it rest alongside the word "bling".
If you think you're different in your polo's and true's
Look around you....EVERYONE else is rocking it, too!
And if you call it hating, you got life so confused
Because "hating" is saying things that's not true.
Pardon me for not being the same
And excuse me for being Against the grain
But never will I conform to such ignorant trends
That the media has led you to condescend
If you don't like what I'm saying don't be mad at us
Just go rant like usual in your swagtastic Facebook status!

This is the Eulogy to "Swagger"....R.I.P. )=

Briana "Breezy" McIntosh

I know that at some time in our lives all of us have watched the American classic cartoon Peanuts, which held a main character named Charlie Brown. I was never a Peanuts fan, but I would watch it on holidays with my family when my mother wanted us to gather around and watch The Great Pumpkin, or A Charlie Brown Christmas. I can’t remember much about the show- shoot, I can’t even name any characters other than Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy and Snoopy, but there will always be a scene in the series that I will never forget. This was a part of the show that made everybody laugh…but Charlie Brown.
The infamous football kick.

We all recognize it, and know when it’s coming.
All you have to do is see Lucy with a football in her hand, and you whisper under your breath…'uh oh.'
For those that don’t remember, the routine went as follows: one day Lucy kneeled down, balanced a football between her hand and the ground, and asked Charlie to come kick it. He thought it sounded fun, so he backed up, ran as fast as he could towards Lucy and the ball, pulled his foot back to kick the ball into oblivion,
-but kicked nothing but air as the force from his foot carried him up in the air and he landed flat on his back.
Some of you may ask- what happened? Did he miss?
NO! Lucy pulled the ball from his reach!
She then would laugh and walk away carrying the ball, and Charlie would look at his audience with an expression of embarrassment, and mutter his infamous words- “Good greif.”
Many of us would feel sorry for Charlie, and hope that he never falls for that trick again, but guess what?
He did.
Time and time again Lucy would balance the ball and invite Charlie to come kick it. At first he would make up excuse after excuse explaining why he refused to fall for her tactics anymore, but Lucy would insist and persuade, making kicking the football sound like heaven…
So Charlie would ignore the past, back up, run towards the ball at top speed, pull his foot back, kick for the ball with all his might…
…fly in the air, and then land on his ass once again.
Many would think that something must be wrong with Charlie…this was way too easy.
Yes, something was very wrong with Charlie- he was determined.
Should we fault him for such?
I could never understand what the hell Charles Schulz was trying to say when he did these sketches...
…until now.
For some time now, I’ve felt like Charlie.
There are women who enter my life, and seem like they can offer me a great opportunity- a chance to kick a football…a chance to fall in love.
Things go great…chemistry starts flowing- or overflowing, depending on who it is…feelings grow…the idea of love looks quite nice to me…
…as nice as kicking a football...
She balances the football between her hand, and the ground- their wants and my wants, and then orders me to back up so I can kick the ball clear out onto the sky.
Kick off a relationship...start up the love..
I back up…smile…fix my determination…then run for my goal.
At some time between me backing up, running towards her, or pulling my leg back, she decides that this is not what she wants.
She doesn’t want me to kick the ball.
She doesn’t want us to work together to kick something off clear into the sky…
So she pulls away, excuse me- pulls the ball from my reach, and I slip up, fly in the air with nothing to hold onto- completely vulnerable, then slam backwards on my ass.
In other words, I get hurt.

“Good grief.”
I remain dizzy for some time, and all I can hear is her snickering behind me, wondering how I could be such a fool.
She then goes on with her life, holding the football in her hands, leaving me with nothing but pain to endure.
No matter how close I got, what I wanted was always pulled from my reach before I even got the chance to connect with it.
Me, being a Charlie, brush myself off and move on with my life in time…and then Lucy returns.
A few moments later, I’m laying on the ground again muttering “good grief.”
No more.
As of right now, I’m saying screw the football- I don’t need it.
I can live without kicking a football- I don’t even like sports.
I’m learning from Charlie’s mistakes.
Charlie Brown NEVER got a chance to kick the ball- all the way until the end of the series, though his attempts were numerous.
I’m switching character and focusing on what I love most, kinda like Linus.
Fall back, Sally.

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall